He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I've blown a few things in my day
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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