using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
