I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
