when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
