Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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