they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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