So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Congratulations! We have a period
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