I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
