I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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