okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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