I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I have aggressive nipples.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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