idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Come see our sink grown plant.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
