Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
That was an excessively violent trivia night
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
