Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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