You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize