she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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