He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
