In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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