I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
