giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
