I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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