I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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