Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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