im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize