you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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