i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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