So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
