Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
