i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
