you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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