your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Need sex. Gaining weight.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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