phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
