someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
