He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize