i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
