Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We're too hungover to prance.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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