well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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