how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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