well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
