I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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