Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
