I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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