She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He did a backflip because drugs
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