He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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