Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
