I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
