I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
