i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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