were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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