Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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