She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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