That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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