im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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