You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
