And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
