What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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