Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
