and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
me + whiskey = a bad person
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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