Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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