i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize