Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
