i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
