I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize