are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
