the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
