sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
barbara walters just said penis...
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
