I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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