I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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