I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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