Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
