you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
