I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
