can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i barfeds in our rink
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
