TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
