I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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