Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
