She announced her abortion via fbk
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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