We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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