I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
