yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
